Wednesday, January 9, 2008

Let me ask you this question?

Have you ever just popped out of bed awake, bright eyed and bushy tailed with a smile on your face?

I can't remember the last time I did that or even if I ever have done that. It's 6am; a little late for my normal schedule. Not being able to work due to certain circumstances like my health & the current events in my life, my sleep schedule is way to crazy ~ or maybe it is because I am getting old.

Whatever that reason is it really doesn't matter. I am awake. I have my coffee, no one is up yet and time for me to get some thoughts down.

You say "Get to the point lady"~ well, ha ~ patience is a virtue ~ of which I certainly don't have. My friends know this very well.

I woke this am with a splitting headache ~ and a very strange thought about a friend of mine, it could of been a dream ~ I think not.

I emailed that friend last evening to inform of a certain project I was working on. I was frustrated at the time I wrote this email and did not even think to ask how my friend was doing. Not good is what I found out as I read the response email ~ this friend of mine lost her child to an overdose also. Her son was just about my son's age also. I speak to her often, well not enough I guess, not enough as I should ~ as this friend of mine has emailed me everyday since this happened ~ a friend I don't know in person ~ a friend who I have come to respect just through emails, due to the love, caring, and insight I have received as we are both in the same situation.

I honor this friend and all the others I have met or not met of whom you will get to know as the days pass, and yes they pass slow ~ at least for me at this time.

My son's death is too fresh in my mind. I still see him every night when I close my eyes & not with the happy smile on his face, or that gleam in his eyes. What I see is my child laying on a bed dead.

I urge anyone that passes by this blog to seek out other's, or listen to other's that have found you that have had the same experience. No matter what that experience is.

Listen to them, they understand what you feel, they understand what you are going through. No one can feel the way you do, nor can you feel the way someone does if you have not been it the same situation.

We both have lost children ~ young adults not prepared to face life in the way we all know it. Sick children; yes our children had a disease ~ it is not your fault.

My daughter just woke up and it is time for her to get off to school and me to be a mom.
Thanks for reading, I shall be back later.

First more coffee........

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