I really don't know the answer to that question all I know is that Jonathan is gone two and a half years today and I am "ANGRY" - I am angry that he really isn't coming home. He didn't just go off to college, he didn't travel the world, he hasn't called in a very long time; and the memory's are coming back, the painful one's of the day that changed my life as a mother forever!
A friend of mine were conversing the other day, what she said to me stunned me, as she has lost a child as well. I am grateful that we spoke that day. This is what she said.
Anger is part of the grief you feel, along with sadness, frustration and guilt. Those feelings are all normal and eventually the grief will fade and become part of who you are!
I hope someday soon, I will be far along enough in my journey to be able to take her words and apply them to my feelings. Right now, I don't want this to be part of who I am; I want my baby back, my son that wasn't meant to die. Maybe the answer is yes it is painful to overdose on heroin when a mother has to loose her son to a senseless accidental overdose. I would not wish this new journey I follow on anyone
I found this article and the link is below! The verb age is a tad bit raw, just saying, just in case.
All that I know on the subject I know first hand... I'm a recovering heroin addict, and have, on more than one occasion, overdosed. From pricking the skin, jacking it and then finally mainlining it you feel little pain... about six or seven seconds later a rapturous rush comes over you like never before amazing too amazing
It's at that point that you think
"Whoa... maybe I did a little too much..."Unfortunately, that's all you have time to think... now what you don't know is that you've passed out from the drugs unrelenting assault on your entire system... soon your breathing will slow and eventually you're heart will stop.
Very, very painless "And then you're dead! Perfect and painless!" In fact the bliss that one would feel before they died of a heroin overdose would be immense not painful.
But let's roll back to right after you shot up and got that explosive rush:
One of your buddies showed up and saw you barely breathing on the bathroom floor..
Being the smart guy that he is, he called EMS and now they've got you in the back of the truck while they prep that' god-awful narcotic antagonist that's about to go it you. At this point you're still barely breathing, drawing shallow, gurgley breaths while drool dribbles out one side of your mouth. You're extremities have turned purple and hair is now completely matted down with sweat. It is now time for them to administer the shot. Within seconds you reawaken to find yourself in a state of utter confusion and sudden, horrendous agony. You're heart is racing and nausea sets in... As you spew vomit into the bucket the EMS has provided you, all the while the only thing going through your mind at this point is, "Holy Sh*t... I went from feeling amazing to truly wanting to die... how the H*LL did this happen?"
Honestly, that is the worst pain in the world when they bring you back from an overdose it's countering the effects of a drug that was made to treat the pains of certain amputees or grievously injured men during the war (a.k.a. morphine).So, in conclusion, an overdose from heroin is not painful being revived most definitely is and if one should find themselves experiencing that pain they should consider themselves lucky! Credit to the above posting was found on WIKIANSWERS
Like I stated above, I would not wish this journey of mine on anyone. Mom's hug and talk to your kids. Kids, hug and talk to your mother, stay safe make good choices -- do the right thing. Peace to you my angel, Peace to you today!