The Angry Mandrel 2008 Memorial

~ Psalm 23 ~

The LORD is my shepherd,
I shall not be in want.
He makes me lie down in green pastures,
he leads me beside quiet waters,
He restores my soul.
He guides me in paths of righteousness
for his name's sake.
Even though I walk
through the valley of the shadow of death,
I will fear no evil,
for you are with me;
your rod and your staff,
they comfort me.
You prepare a table before me
in the presence of my enemies.
You anoint my head with oil;
my cup overflows.
Surely goodness and love will follow me
all the days of my life,
and I will dwell in the house of the LORD
forever.

TAM ( the angry mandrel ) is a very special place. TAM is so much more then what is seen from the outside. TAM has become my saving grace this past year, as when my friends became strangers, these strangers became friends.

In honor of the forum members, family and friends we will be closed Sunday, Nov. 30th.
The forum will reopen Monday AM.
~ "May God Bless you all"
& "May God Bless you Chad Samson" ~ he did this for all of us a community of artists!

I don't know if a forum has ever closed before!

The Year is Here ~

~As Jonathan has left me to finish his journey here on earth, many of you know this has now become my mission to educate & spread the word so that if just one life is saved, these boys deaths shall not be in vain!

~I find it only fitting and respectful to celebrate lives lost, tragedy's suffered, sickness & health; and to be thankful we are here to support each other as one community of like in kind.

~I shall be lighting a candle in honor of my son as well as the other 5 Alumni from Stevenson High School, to honor & celebrate these lives lost so unnecessarily to dirty drugs.

Buffalo Grove Skate Park
Busch Grove Community Park
1000 N. Buffalo Grove Road
Buffalo Grove, IL 60089

Time:
7:30 pm Saturday November 29, 2008 - We will be congregating along the sidewalk ONLY ~ the park will be closed. Carpooling is highly recommended due to lack of No Parking.

Bring a candle with you!

Respectfully,
Vonna

She had a dream ~

Don't know why I'm telling you this...

"I had a dream of you Jon and his sister. She wasn't in the dream physically.
She was mentioned but you and Jon were there she was away at college.
It seemed so real. It was strange because we knew Jon had passed.
You gave me some clothes to change into and I'm not sure why.
I changed in the room where Jonathan passed which was a small bedroom.
Weird thing is, his body was still in there. He lay there helplessly, but I didn't cry, you woke him up. We talked about how his couldn't go in the room anymore ever since "it" happened.
You went downstairs after waking him up to get him food, then he looked at me and smiled. His speech was all screwed up but I could see he knew exactly who I was and knew he loved me through his eyes and expression. His speech returned to normal and he hugged me and said I love you. You came in with a sandwich and cookies and that was all I could remember. I woke up and felt heartache. I miss him so much.
At the same time, I'm so glad I still dream of him.
It's strange how in a dream when someone is "gone" they can still be alive.

I love you momma. I hope you're doing okay."

It's time; this first anniversary, just around the corner, and so close you can taste it. I am not surprised as I too am experiencing dreams, I hear his voice call to me "ma" it's okay I love you. Just before I lay down to sleep I hear his voice "ma, I love you", comforting yet tearful and so sad.

Do you remember last year all the activity we felt within the house, the incidents? There has been much activitiy in this house as I sit here each day alone. For unknown reasons I collapse and just weep until I can weep no more; and then all of a sudden I feel his presence he is lifting me gently up off the floor.

No, it is not strange; if was him it was not just my mind telling me his is trying to bring me the peace and strength to get through the next few days. This could all be part of our grieving process. As it is my choice to believe that he is hear; I choose that he is here.
It is what I want to believe.

I do often wonder about his other three his three good buddies, [friends] the one's that showed up drunk after the service to pay their respects and to say goodbye one last time, I often wonder if their dreams are nightmares?

I also pray for the other children now that I know that six from the same school, the same age, died this past year. I hope to do something special for all of them, I keep running into so many obstacles. I am only one. I do believe that somehow I will get this done.