He's one smart Cookie ~

Get to know the coroner ~ oh, so unconventional ~
So I was out of town - but now I am back ~ :)

Selbo: You were just re-elected in November to a second term of office. What would you like to accomplish in the next four years that you did not accomplish during your first four years?

Keller: Well, and it's really kind of started already. I want to get into even more schools and talk to even more kids. The schools in the area have had pre-prom events historically. That's when they would have the coroner come talk to the school. But I think that you really need to get in there repeatedly and frequently. And so what I've done is gotten a lot of my staff involved as well, and we're really getting into the schools now and classes and driver's ed. So we're getting in there repeatedly and then special programs that we're able to get put together. In order to be able to teach a teenager something you need to do so repeatedly and a little bit different each time, so it really starts to sink in.

Click to read the rest of the story!

Men ~ Silent Grief

I really needed to find a reason as to why he is still, so sad.

The "he" is my husband, not Jonathan's natural father!
"he ~ my husband found our son"
I cannot imagine what it was like for him to have to tell me my son was dead!

I found this article very enlightening this morning and I wanted to share this with you, as it is not all about the mother ~ we must not forget that the father grieves as well.

It has been said there is no loss greater than that in the loss of a child.
For families who experience the death of a child, whether an infant or an adult, the surviving family members are often left to cope with their own feelings of grief. While the mother of the child is often consoled extensively, the father of a child who has passed away may, at times, feel lost in the grieving process.

Compounded by this process is the vastly different way in which men grieve. For the most part, this vastly different response to grief, by men, is a one that is learned, taught and expected through their own upbringing. In many cases, these same men, even when faced with the death of their own child, will view the mourning and grieving process as a challenge and test they must win.

To "win" this challenge, so to speak, the father who grieves the loss of his own child will often show an overwhelming tendency towards remaining quiet and silent. This silence, in essence, allows a grieving father to control, to some extent, his vulnerabilities and protects them from the ultimate emotional breakdown. What is commonly not seen, however, is this same grieving man who will express his grief in solitude and in silence.

When coping with the death of a child, the grieving father will commonly take on new personality traits. Because men are taught to be the protector of the family, the loss of a child is often perceived as a failure on their part and, as a result, the male figure of the family will feel as if they need to take on a role of protecting the other family members. To this end, the grieving father can become consumed in the details and events following the death of a child and, as a result, may show little to no sadness initially.

Because men cope with grief on a level that is far different from woman, it is important that they be permitted to express their grief differently. For many women, the expression of grief comes quite naturally, leaving a mother to wonder why her husband does not feel the overwhelming sense of sadness she may feel. While it may seem he does not feel these same depths of sadness, rest assured, he does. Because men are taught to behave in a manner that is not expressive during times of intense stress, and must be the protectors of the family, it is normal for a father, who has lost a child, to grieve in silence and for very prolonged periods of time.

This link was the first I clicked on ~ it has some excellent information, as well as really interesting comments ~
Direct link to the article and the person to be acknowledged ~

Living without him ~

Seems like yesterday when they took him away you wake up one day and wonder where or where did this past year go ~ This is all so unreal to me, much harder now than it was over a year ago.

Most of his Jon's friends have either moved on or are still in denial, my friends they come and go.

I have started to weed through the house, it is a cleansing experience that is not making me a happy camper. My refrigerator looks cleaner than when I purchased it!

His slippers finally moved from where they lie that day. His clothes put away nice and tidy, and yes, I smelled every shirt, every pair of pants, and even his socks ~ His TV works, his bed is made and his chair will stay put. Jonathan was young and did not have many belongings, this are my memories as I finally lay him to peace in this house.

As, I go through these days one day at a time, each day brings on a new experience, my life has forever changed and will never be the same as it was before. I am getting to the point of acceptance that learning to live with the fact that Jonathan is gone ~ forever! Yet, he still lives in my heart, my surroundings and always within my soul.

I do get out a little more, it is a very scary experience. I ventured out yesterday to run an errand which was near the pediatric dentists' office where I took all my children. I took a big step opened the door and low and behold, she was standing behind the desk.

When I was 9 years old, we used to eat peanut butter sandwiches together at her house, giggling so hard that milk came out of our noses ~ O~So~Gross ~

She didn't know, we talked we hugged & I told her to teach her children, I told her to make sure she scared him straight, as I did not want her to experience what I am experiencing now -

A mother should not lose a child before her eyes ~