~Somewhere Over The Rainbow~

Today,
I attended the funeral for the mother of a very dear and close friend of our family.
We call him "Gar" ~ My daughter's "God Father", Jonathan's "Sponsor", my husband's dearest friend, & my buddy!

Although today was a very difficult day for me, it was another baby step I have taken down this yellow brick road. The mass was beautiful, I was tearful.

"Gar's" brother honored my son as well as others during his memorial to his mother. This took me by surprise, just about the time I had run out of Kleenex. At graveside this woman sang, and as she sung her last note the rain came, as if she had made the angles cry. We all looked for the rainbow but it did not come. I know it was their we just could not see it.



Somewhere, over the rainbow, way up high.
There's a land that I heard of Once in a lullaby.
Somewhere, over the rainbow, skies are blue.
And the dreams that you dare to dream
Really do come true.
Someday I'll wish upon a star and wake up where the clouds are far Behind me.
Where troubles melt like lemon drops, Away above the chimney tops.
That's where you'll find me.
Somewhere, over the rainbow, bluebirds fly. Birds fly over the rainbow,
Why then - oh, why can't I?
If happy little bluebirds fly beyond the rainbow,
Why, oh, why can't I?
-----
This baby step I took today was the hardest baby step off all - "Gar" you are so lucky I didn't post the video with the "Lollipop League" guys - maybe someday!

May you rest in peace "Gar's" ma - you raised a good boy.

I can't sleep!

No I am not crazy, just lonely, just tired, just thinking, not sleeping; just missing my son. I close my eyes and see him, it's scary.

It's just a feeling. It truly isn't a good feeling, in fact it really sucks to feel like this.

I still believe in myself, I just wanted to cry!
Nothing wrong with that - cry with me if you want to - it helps. Just wish it didn't have to happen at almost 3am in the morning - so if I'm crabby tomorrow you will know why!