Angry Teenagers

I found this article very interesting - as well as this website you should read more - it could help... IMO - boarding school costs money ~ we can as a community help these children ~ OUR CHILDREN!

Enough said - bookmark this if you would like and read it later - just have a Happy 4th of July - do you know what your children are doing tonight?

The Family School

By Jeffrey S. Brain, M.A., C.T.S. (Certified Trauma Specialist)

We live in violent times, in a country where an incident of child abuse is reported every ten seconds; where domestic violence claims the lives of three women every single day; and where every year half a million senior citizens are abused - most often by a member of their own family.

Considering that one in nine murders is committed by youth under 18, we can assume that most perpetrators of violent crimes are - or once were - angry teens. According to a recent survey, three out of four teenage boys admitted to hitting someone in the past year because they were angry. Almost half believe it's okay to hit or threaten a person who makes them mad, and have carried a gun, knife or club in the past month.

And one third agreed with the statement

"When I am really angry, there is no way I can control myself."

Learning to manage one's anger is an essential life skill for anyone, but especially for teenagers who frequently use anger as a response to the frustrations and stresses of growing up.

In this respect, anger (as well as other emotions like sadness, anxiety, hopelessness and self-pity), resembles alcohol. They can all be used to "self-medicate" - to compensate for the pressures and strains the teenager hasn't yet learned to deal with. Often anger itself becomes the coping mechanism, a way of exerting power and control over one's environment. Used habitually in this way, it is a dangerous substitute for healthier, more adaptive coping strategies-strategies that can't be learned until the anger can be managed. And like those who habitually use drugs, alcohol, eating, gambling or sex as coping mechanisms, those who use anger will find that it inevitably interferes with normal functioning, and can eventually destroy any opportunity for happiness or satisfaction in life.

The good news is that the 12-Step program, which has help millions of alcoholics, drug abusers, compulsive eaters, gamblers and others in the throes of addiction, can also help angry teens.

How the 12 Steps Work for Anger The core tenets of the 12 Steps, including rigorous honesty, are related to cognitive-behavioral therapy and share some of the same approaches for permanently changing one's behavior.

The 12 Steps challenge our thinking about the way we see and interpret experiences, and teach us how to respond to stress not in the heat of the moment, but according to our values and principles. The process involves not trusting our own thinking. This is an important concept in managing anger. The judgments and conclusions we draw when we are responding emotionally to a situation (i.e. the things we think when we are angry) often drive our physical reactions. In the 12-Step model, however, we learn to think beyond the emotion to a healthier, more adaptive response. Angry people are like the man whose house is set on fire and goes chasing after the arsonist instead of tending to the more important task of putting the fire out. His response is totally self-defeating, yet those who struggle with managing their anger can easily see themselves doing the same thing. Driven by the emotion of perceived wrong, they chase after others (revenge, resentment) rather than dealing with the real problem - the fire. In fact, many of us have lost the ability to put out our own fires. Instead, we automatically shift the responsibility for our anger to others, chasing them down while our life disintegrates around us. The analogy applies to alcohol and substance abuse as well, and to other addictions that can distract us from the more important work of dealing with the problems at hand. In many cases, teens turn to alcohol, drugs, food or sex to suppress their anger. While they may find temporary relief, the long term effects can be disastrous. With regular use, these substances and behaviors take on lives of their own. So even if the teen gets help and manages to make his or her problems and frustrations go away, the addiction remains.

A weekly Anger Management group what a concept for a school to implement with the lost children of their system. 12 step progman may have a stigma attached ~ get over it people!

Share you experiences with them, teach them strategies to help them regain balance, control and serenity in their lives as they move through the crises of adolescence toward responsible adulthood!

It's a whole new world out their ~ get with the program - on baby step at a time!

1. Managing Your Persistent Fears And Anxieties

By: Stanley Popovich

Looking for all of the answers in how to manage your persistent fears and anxieties? We all have those times when it is difficult to manage our stresses and anxieties. As a result, here is a brief list of techniques that a person can use to help manage their every day anxieties, stresses, and fears.

When facing a current or upcoming task that overwhelms you with a lot of anxiety, divide the task into a series of smaller steps and then complete each of the smaller tasks one at a time. Completing these smaller tasks will make the stress more manageable and increases your chances of success.

Sometimes we get stressed out when everything happens all at once. When this happens, take a deep breath and try to find something to do for a few minutes to get your mind off of the problem. A person can get some fresh air, listen to some music, or do an activity that will give them a fresh perspective on things.

Sometimes we encounter a scary situation that gets us all upset. When encountering these events, always remember to get all of the facts of the given situation. Gathering the facts can prevent us from relying on exaggerated and fearful assumptions. By focusing on the facts, a person can rely on what is reality and what is not.

In dealing with your anxieties, learn to take it one day at a time. While the consequences of a particular fear may seem real, there are usually other factors that can not be anticipated and can affect the results of any situation. We may be ninety-nine percent correct in predicting the future, but all it takes is for that one percent to make a world of difference.

At times, a person might encounter a fearful thought that may be difficult to manage. When this happens, visualize a red stop sign, which can serve as a reminder to stop thinking about that thought. Regardless of how scary the thought may be, do not dwell on it. This technique is good in dealing with obsessive and scary thoughts.

Sometimes, it helps to be able to talk to someone about our stressful situations. Talking to a trusted friend, counselor, or clergyman can not only make us feel better, but they can give you additional advice and insights on how to deal with your current problem. Managing your fears and anxieties takes practice. In time, you will become better able to deal with your stressful problems.

As a layman, I have over fifteen years of experience in dealing with fear and anxiety. At times, my fears had the best of me, however I never gave up and I was always determined to find the answers to my problems. Regardless of how difficult it may be to manage your fears and anxieties, the answers are out there if you look hard enough.

I had no idea that you could do this ~

Pardon me but I am a little behind lately - life has a tendency to get in the way.

8 months hit me hard - 8 months I cannot believe 8 month has passed almost 9 months now. Blindsided ~ smack me upside the head and took me down for the count.

I am still hear!

As I read Dr. Keller's blog the following post hit a nerve within me that has motivated me to ~ let's say WAKE-UP!

Blog entry ~ Friday, September 05, 2008

Regular folks can report drugs and doctors I was talking with the mother of an individual who died recently. As she mentioned, neither of them are young, but she reminded me of a statement I often reiterate, “Kids (no matter the age) shouldn’t die before their parents”.

Her son died of medication-related death, in that the prescribed medications he was taking likely complicated his underlying medical conditions (sleep apnea and heart disease) and the combination of those things led to his death. She wants to make sure it doesn’t happen to some other mother’s son. She has concerns about both the medications and her son’s doctor. In addition to our working with the Illinois Department of Professional Regulation on cases we feel are egregious on the doctors’ part and with the DEA on drug (medication)-related deaths, I told her she too can file report/complaints.

She was unaware of this, despite some research on her own, so I thought I’d throw the information up here so that more folks would be aware:

Consumers (i.e. regular folks) can file reports on medications (problems and concerns) with the FDA Med Watch Program. The forms and instructions are available online.

Concerns about individual physician’s can be filed with the Illinois Department of Professional Regulation (for some bizarre political reason actually the Illinois Department of Financial and Professional Regulation. (Every state has their own variation of our state regulatory agency)

My spin on this post ~

I am beginning to believe that the "FRIENDS" of the children in our community that have died this past year have a story to tell.

What if they do KNOW the true story of what happened the night their "FRIEND" died. What secrets do they have inside that is burning a hole in their heart.
What are they afraid of? ~
What have they got to loose - Just another friend?

Think about it ~

"Talk to your Children hear them Speak"
~find out where the children an go to report any wrongdoing with out the fear of being called that 'rat' ~ It starts with you ~ the parent!

A Unexpected Change ~ Part One

What has changed in the past 6 months that have gone by. I ask myself this question in hopes of of releasing myself from the old, the new, and what awaits lurking in the shadows of my own future.

The old ~ Part One
My OLD friends they are gone, they are here but they are gone. They grieve too, and I
understand this. My son, their nephew, their friend, the little boy they held in their arms is dead, he is gone and never coming back in the physical sense they understand. Why they are not communicating with me is their problem and not mine.

What they don't understand is that I shall not bite them, I shall grieve with them, we can help each other. Am I wasting to much time worrying my OLD friends?

No, time is never wasted if you use it wisely. Hope & Peace I wish to my OLD friends ~ they will someday connect back with me ~ when they face their own fears and or demons of grief.

~ I must say goodnight, get a good night sleep ~ so that I may concentrate; as tomorrow is another day.

I can't sleep!

No I am not crazy, just lonely, just tired, just thinking, not sleeping; just missing my son. I close my eyes and see him, it's scary.

It's just a feeling. It truly isn't a good feeling, in fact it really sucks to feel like this.

I still believe in myself, I just wanted to cry!
Nothing wrong with that - cry with me if you want to - it helps. Just wish it didn't have to happen at almost 3am in the morning - so if I'm crabby tomorrow you will know why!