Is a heroin overdose painful?

I really don't know the answer to that question all I know is that Jonathan is gone two and a half years today and I am "ANGRY" - I am angry that he really isn't coming home. He didn't just go off to college, he didn't travel the world, he hasn't called in a very long time; and the memory's are coming back, the painful one's of the day that changed my life as a mother forever!

A friend of mine were conversing the other day, what she said to me stunned me, as she has lost a child as well. I am grateful that we spoke that day. This is what she said.

Anger is part of the grief you feel, along with sadness, frustration and guilt. Those feelings are all normal and eventually the grief will fade and become part of who you are!

I hope someday soon, I will be far along enough in my journey to be able to take her words and apply them to my feelings. Right now, I don't want this to be part of who I am; I want my baby back, my son that wasn't meant to die. Maybe the answer is yes it is painful to overdose on heroin when a mother has to loose her son to a senseless accidental overdose. I would not wish this new journey I follow on anyone
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I found this article and the link is below! The verb age is a tad bit raw, just saying, just in case.


All that I know on the subject I know first hand... I'm a recovering heroin addict, and have, on more than one occasion, overdosed. From pricking the skin, jacking it and then finally mainlining it you feel little pain... about six or seven seconds later a rapturous rush comes over you like never before amazing too amazing
It's at that point that you think

"Whoa... maybe I did a little too much..."

Unfortunately, that's all you have time to think... now what you don't know is that you've passed out from the drugs unrelenting assault on your entire system... soon your breathing will slow and eventually you're heart will stop.

Very, very painless "And then you're dead! Perfect and painless!" In fact the bliss that one would feel before they died of a heroin overdose would be immense not painful.

But let's roll back to right after you shot up and got that explosive rush:

One of your buddies showed up and saw you barely breathing on the bathroom floor..

Being the smart guy that he is, he called EMS and now they've got you in the back of the truck while they prep that' god-awful narcotic antagonist that's about to go it you. At this point you're still barely breathing, drawing shallow, gurgley breaths while drool dribbles out one side of your mouth. You're extremities have turned purple and hair is now completely matted down with sweat. It is now time for them to administer the shot. Within seconds you reawaken to find yourself in a state of utter confusion and sudden, horrendous agony.  You're heart is racing and nausea sets in... As you spew vomit into the bucket the EMS has provided you, all the while the only thing going through your mind at this point is, "Holy Sh*t... I went from feeling amazing to truly wanting to die... how the H*LL did this happen?"

Honestly, that is the worst pain in the world when they bring you back from an overdose it's countering the effects of a drug that was made to treat the pains of certain amputees or grievously injured men during the war (a.k.a. morphine).

So, in conclusion, an overdose from heroin is not painful being revived most definitely is and if one should find themselves experiencing that pain they should consider themselves lucky! Credit to the above posting was found on WIKIANSWERS
Like I stated above, I would not wish this journey of mine on anyone. Mom's hug and talk to your kids. Kids, hug and talk to your mother, stay safe make good choices -- do the right thing. Peace to you my angel, Peace to you today!

She gave me strength ~

October 18th ~
Although her son is gone ~~ she is still so sad ~~ I give this post to my dear friend, who gave me strength with her words this past year ~~ who just listened to me weep that day on the phone in silence with her support ~~
I love you my dear friend ~ never ever forget that ~~ xoxo

Although this post can be interpreted in many ways ~ my intent is to try to comfort her and try to make her have a happy day ~
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Go placidly amid the noise and haste,
and remember what peace there may be in silence.
As far as possible without surrender
be on good terms with all persons.
Speak your truth quietly and clearly;
and listen to others,
even the dull and the ignorant;
they too have their story.
Avoid loud and aggressive persons,
they are vexations to the spirit.
If you compare yourself with others,
you may become vain and bitter;
for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.
Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans.

Keep interested in your own career, however humble;
it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.
Exercise caution in your business affairs;
for the world is full of trickery.
But let this not blind you to what virtue there is;
many persons strive for high ideals;
and everywhere life is full of heroism.

Be yourself.
Especially, do not feign affection.
Neither be cynical about love;
for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment
it is as perennial as the grass.

Take kindly the counsel of the years,
gracefully surrendering the things of youth.
Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune.
But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings.
Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.
Beyond a wholesome discipline,
be gentle with yourself.

You are a child of the universe,
no less than the trees and the stars;
you have a right to be here.
And whether or not it is clear to you,
no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.

Therefore be at peace with God,
whatever you conceive Him to be,
and whatever your labors and aspirations,
in the noisy confusion of life keep peace with your soul.

With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams,
it is still a beautiful world.
Be cheerful.
Strive to be happy.

Max Ehrmann, Copyright 1952.

Madonna & Child

I took this picture in Washington DC - their are so many museums - so much to do. What a beautiful city despite the fact that our economy has crashed. Take it one day at a time and we will all survive this. Together we can survive anything.

~Somewhere Over The Rainbow~

Today,
I attended the funeral for the mother of a very dear and close friend of our family.
We call him "Gar" ~ My daughter's "God Father", Jonathan's "Sponsor", my husband's dearest friend, & my buddy!

Although today was a very difficult day for me, it was another baby step I have taken down this yellow brick road. The mass was beautiful, I was tearful.

"Gar's" brother honored my son as well as others during his memorial to his mother. This took me by surprise, just about the time I had run out of Kleenex. At graveside this woman sang, and as she sung her last note the rain came, as if she had made the angles cry. We all looked for the rainbow but it did not come. I know it was their we just could not see it.



Somewhere, over the rainbow, way up high.
There's a land that I heard of Once in a lullaby.
Somewhere, over the rainbow, skies are blue.
And the dreams that you dare to dream
Really do come true.
Someday I'll wish upon a star and wake up where the clouds are far Behind me.
Where troubles melt like lemon drops, Away above the chimney tops.
That's where you'll find me.
Somewhere, over the rainbow, bluebirds fly. Birds fly over the rainbow,
Why then - oh, why can't I?
If happy little bluebirds fly beyond the rainbow,
Why, oh, why can't I?
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This baby step I took today was the hardest baby step off all - "Gar" you are so lucky I didn't post the video with the "Lollipop League" guys - maybe someday!

May you rest in peace "Gar's" ma - you raised a good boy.

We can't know why~

~We can't know why some things happen ~ but we can know that love and beautiful memories outlast the pain of grief. We can know that there's a place inside the heart where love lives always... and where nothing beautiful can ever be forgotten ~

~ I am learning as I go through my own journey as a mother morning her son, that nothing beautiful in this world is really ever lost ~