Pain just and Opinion

Just an Opinion -
People are afraid of themselves, of their own reality; their feelings most of all.
People talk about how great love is, but that’s bullshit. Love hurts.

Feelings are disturbing.
People are taught that pain is evil and dangerous.
Pain is meant to wake us up.

People try to hide their pain.
But they’re wrong.
Pain is something to carry, like a radio.

You feel your strength in the experience of pain. It’s all in how you carry it.
That’s what matters.
Pain is a feeling.
Your feelings are a part of you.

"Your own reality. If you feel ashamed of them, and hide them, you’re letting society destroy your reality. You should stand up for your right to feel your pain.”

"Jim Morrison"

Break on Through: The Life and Death of Jim Morrison

Good Grief Bad Grief what is the difference?

Good Grief Bad Grief what is the difference?

Friendship & Understanding.

I am sad - I am angry, I am ~ I don't know what I am ~

I wrote to a friend to apologize for not remembering to do something ~ this is what she wrote to back.

Vonna ~ absolutely no apologies necessary; not between us. This is just from my own experience, but I feel the whole grieving process is going on subconsciously and consciously. We go along, living our lives and a thought or a feeling or a scent overtakes us, and we feel such pain; like we've been blindsided. However, I really believe that along with the grieving is the healing that is also going on, even though it may be hard to perceive. Does this sound like psychobabble? I don't mean it to. If you want to have a chat, just let me know. You know I'm here for you.

The numbness wore off and the reality has set in!
The bad so to speak ~
The time is here for me - in three months it shall be 2 years -- it seems just like yesterday we had lunch, and then I called 911 - you know I can't write anymore, at least anything that would make sense - I just know he is not here and I am afraid that if I don't think about him every day - I shall forget him ~ I can't he was and still is my son - who I miss from the bottom of my heart and soul!

Thank you my friend for being their for me!

Words of Wisdom

As of late, I have connected with a few friends from my past ~ a past of the carefree days where my friends & I had freedom with structure~freedom without fear, freedom with hope that our future would be secure ~
I received an email from one of those friends today that I would like to share with you ~ it touched my soul ~ this made me think ~ as I grow old I think back to those days, those days are long gone ~ but the memories shall always be.
~ thank you my old friend for gifting me with your words today~

"I looked through some of the links on your site. ~very insightful~!

A few of my friends passed early due to struggles with booze and or drugs. I also have a few others who managed to turn their life around.

What I have learned is you can only help those ready to accept a helping hand.

Some have a hard time accepting help, either from pride or pain, either way everyone has to reach a point where they must go one way or the other.

Everyone who cares for them hurts if they go the wrong way.

I like to think of help, like giving a gift; there is has much honor in giving a gift as receiving one. For they are both equal... one is not possible without the other"
author undisclosed ~

Methadone for pain relief can be permanent!

I am a little late with this update from our coroner's office - but I thought this an interesting read - ~~~

Tuesday, June 03, 2008
Methadone for pain relief can be permanent
I was reading an article entitled “The Methadone Poisoning Epidemic” in The Forensic Examiner magazine (sorry no link, it was paper) and I wanted to share a few points with you.

Using information from a National Center for Health Statistics report the author relates that in 2003 methadone-related deaths rose 29%, while drug related deaths as a whole only increased 6%. In addition, methadone was responsible for more deaths than any single prescription painkiller listed (that doesn’t reflect our experience while we see these sorts of methadone overdose deaths, those with hydrocodone and oxycodone are in higher numbers here). The number of unique patient prescriptions for methadone increased 80% through 2005 and 2006 (in most cases prescribed for pain management).

The real key and the point the author really stresses is that methadone overdoses occur by in large in folks using methadone as a pain medicine, not in folks on methadone as maintenance therapy for opiate addiction. This is primarily because while the drug half life in the body is 24 to 36 hours, the pain relief effect lasts 4-6 hours. While the intent is to reach steady state for pain modulation, folks start chasing their pain with additional doses. Those additional doses build over time because of the long “real” half life with lethal consequences.

This lethality is compounded by concomitant use of other medications and certain underlying medical conditions, like sleep apnea and prolonged QT interval heart conduction problems.

Methadone is a dangerous drug for pain management and many don’t realize that (patients and doctors alike). It should be used with caution and only with a physician very familiar with the drug and with highly motivated and conscientious patients.

I remember ~

I remember his smile
Ma give me money
I remember his laughter
Ma look at my finger
I remember his whining
Ma it’s only a party
I remember his sadness
Ma help me
I remember why I loved him
~Vonna Maslanka 4-23-08 c.

We can't know why~

~We can't know why some things happen ~ but we can know that love and beautiful memories outlast the pain of grief. We can know that there's a place inside the heart where love lives always... and where nothing beautiful can ever be forgotten ~

~ I am learning as I go through my own journey as a mother morning her son, that nothing beautiful in this world is really ever lost ~

Disorientation~

Every Day - every moment is so unpredictable for me ~

My Mind & Spirit ~

Today is that of disorientation ~
I am lost ~ my soul is deeply injured ~

My Body ~

This shall be another story as today ~ it is not just a copy and paste day, I really wanted to write something inspiring to help someone ~ I just can't ~ I don't even no if I spelled everything right.

To all my friends that pass by ~ I am deeply grateful to all of you.