Words of Wisdom

As of late, I have connected with a few friends from my past ~ a past of the carefree days where my friends & I had freedom with structure~freedom without fear, freedom with hope that our future would be secure ~
I received an email from one of those friends today that I would like to share with you ~ it touched my soul ~ this made me think ~ as I grow old I think back to those days, those days are long gone ~ but the memories shall always be.
~ thank you my old friend for gifting me with your words today~

"I looked through some of the links on your site. ~very insightful~!

A few of my friends passed early due to struggles with booze and or drugs. I also have a few others who managed to turn their life around.

What I have learned is you can only help those ready to accept a helping hand.

Some have a hard time accepting help, either from pride or pain, either way everyone has to reach a point where they must go one way or the other.

Everyone who cares for them hurts if they go the wrong way.

I like to think of help, like giving a gift; there is has much honor in giving a gift as receiving one. For they are both equal... one is not possible without the other"
author undisclosed ~

Living without him ~

Seems like yesterday when they took him away you wake up one day and wonder where or where did this past year go ~ This is all so unreal to me, much harder now than it was over a year ago.

Most of his Jon's friends have either moved on or are still in denial, my friends they come and go.

I have started to weed through the house, it is a cleansing experience that is not making me a happy camper. My refrigerator looks cleaner than when I purchased it!

His slippers finally moved from where they lie that day. His clothes put away nice and tidy, and yes, I smelled every shirt, every pair of pants, and even his socks ~ His TV works, his bed is made and his chair will stay put. Jonathan was young and did not have many belongings, this are my memories as I finally lay him to peace in this house.

As, I go through these days one day at a time, each day brings on a new experience, my life has forever changed and will never be the same as it was before. I am getting to the point of acceptance that learning to live with the fact that Jonathan is gone ~ forever! Yet, he still lives in my heart, my surroundings and always within my soul.

I do get out a little more, it is a very scary experience. I ventured out yesterday to run an errand which was near the pediatric dentists' office where I took all my children. I took a big step opened the door and low and behold, she was standing behind the desk.

When I was 9 years old, we used to eat peanut butter sandwiches together at her house, giggling so hard that milk came out of our noses ~ O~So~Gross ~

She didn't know, we talked we hugged & I told her to teach her children, I told her to make sure she scared him straight, as I did not want her to experience what I am experiencing now -

A mother should not lose a child before her eyes ~

Vonna Today

Let me tell you a little about what Vonna did today ~

She woke up happy this Christmas morning not realizing what the day would bring her. She had a few bumpy spots with regards to her emotions ~ Have you ever really "heard" the words to "Silent Night" ~ If you knew Vonna like I know Vonna! ~nuff said then~
All in all it was a good day ~

He never failed her when it came to a Brad Pitt premier at the movies.

Although it's been over a year since she has actually really watched a movie in it's entirety; she did manage to sit still and watch a movie called ~

"Wanted" based loosely they say on a novel by Mark Millar ~

Starring ~ James McAvoy &Angelina Jolie

What struck her with this movie were two quote's ~

"Kill one save a Thousand"
morgan freeman

"This is me taking back control of my life. What the f*** have you done lately?" james mcAvoy

Life ~ don't stand still or you may just get struck by that curved bullet.

The Year is Here ~

~As Jonathan has left me to finish his journey here on earth, many of you know this has now become my mission to educate & spread the word so that if just one life is saved, these boys deaths shall not be in vain!

~I find it only fitting and respectful to celebrate lives lost, tragedy's suffered, sickness & health; and to be thankful we are here to support each other as one community of like in kind.

~I shall be lighting a candle in honor of my son as well as the other 5 Alumni from Stevenson High School, to honor & celebrate these lives lost so unnecessarily to dirty drugs.

Buffalo Grove Skate Park
Busch Grove Community Park
1000 N. Buffalo Grove Road
Buffalo Grove, IL 60089

Time:
7:30 pm Saturday November 29, 2008 - We will be congregating along the sidewalk ONLY ~ the park will be closed. Carpooling is highly recommended due to lack of No Parking.

Bring a candle with you!

Respectfully,
Vonna

She gave me strength ~

October 18th ~
Although her son is gone ~~ she is still so sad ~~ I give this post to my dear friend, who gave me strength with her words this past year ~~ who just listened to me weep that day on the phone in silence with her support ~~
I love you my dear friend ~ never ever forget that ~~ xoxo

Although this post can be interpreted in many ways ~ my intent is to try to comfort her and try to make her have a happy day ~
_________________________________

Go placidly amid the noise and haste,
and remember what peace there may be in silence.
As far as possible without surrender
be on good terms with all persons.
Speak your truth quietly and clearly;
and listen to others,
even the dull and the ignorant;
they too have their story.
Avoid loud and aggressive persons,
they are vexations to the spirit.
If you compare yourself with others,
you may become vain and bitter;
for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.
Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans.

Keep interested in your own career, however humble;
it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.
Exercise caution in your business affairs;
for the world is full of trickery.
But let this not blind you to what virtue there is;
many persons strive for high ideals;
and everywhere life is full of heroism.

Be yourself.
Especially, do not feign affection.
Neither be cynical about love;
for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment
it is as perennial as the grass.

Take kindly the counsel of the years,
gracefully surrendering the things of youth.
Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune.
But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings.
Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.
Beyond a wholesome discipline,
be gentle with yourself.

You are a child of the universe,
no less than the trees and the stars;
you have a right to be here.
And whether or not it is clear to you,
no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.

Therefore be at peace with God,
whatever you conceive Him to be,
and whatever your labors and aspirations,
in the noisy confusion of life keep peace with your soul.

With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams,
it is still a beautiful world.
Be cheerful.
Strive to be happy.

Max Ehrmann, Copyright 1952.

Blog Post from Dr. Richard Keller ~

Something I found interesting ~

Social Smarts ~

Today's children are just not coming into school -- into life -- equipped with adequate social skills and character development that helps them understand that this kind of behavior is simply not OK. They are not taught to respect and value differences among people, in opinions, in actions…
People may argue that social skills education belongs in the home, not in the schools, and I'd be the first to agree. But, our schools have become a war zone, where teachers spend more time disciplining students and trying to keep order than they do teaching! Is it any wonder our schools under-perform? If you were losing 20/30/50% of your average educational time because of behavior issues, how effective do you think you could be?

The “Social Smarts” program emphasizes:
… thinking "beyond oneself"
… kindness and consideration in all dealings with others
… behavior must not only be taught, but also must be practiced and reinforced by example in the family, in schools, and in the child's everyday world.
Rather than dismiss manners and etiquette as old-fashioned, fussy, and irrelevant… we need to return to a more civilized period of behavior, where people are responsible and accountable for their words and actions.

Although the world can be a rough place in which to live, and we cannot always change what others say and do, we can change how we act and speak, and hope that by "keeping our own houses clean" we can serve as positive examples in our homes, our communities, and in the world at large.


(Dr, Keller adds~)

Couldn’t we all use a refresher in proper social skills and frequent reminders of proper manners and proper action?

Teaching these skills and principles in our schools and working with parents to help them reinforce the lessons and working with society (including the media in all its forms) to highlight good examples that will likewise reinforce manners and “good” behavior can help reclaim our future and our future generations. It can improve our society, decrease violence and all its terrible consequences (yes, including death).

[Although I do believe we need a non-proprietary, inexpensive program that is easy to disseminate to all, because all are in need.]

I believe we need to teach our children ~ our children are not invincible ~

Never to Old for a Lullaby~ In memory of a dear friend ~

My dear friend ~
I have lit this candle for your love ~ his sudden passing saddens me so ~ I shall grieve with you, I shall pray you have the strength to keep on truckin!

This lullaby is for you to sing to him ~ yes you are old ~ and death comes when least expected. You are never to old for a lullaby.


Remember, you can always call your neighbor in the middle of the night and she shall comfort you as she did I when Jon passed.

Twinkle, twinkle, little star,
How I wonder what you are.
Up above the world so high,
Like a diamond in the sky.
Twinkle, twinkle, little star,
How I wonder what you are!

He is just fine! He has Jon to keep him busy ~

Look up as he looks down at you, keeping you safe, telling you that each day gets that much more closer to remembering the good, all the Joy & Sparkle you brought to each other, and all the yelling about you spending money on big ticket items!

I love you sweetie with all my heart. I am here too, to always give you a hug if you need one.
Breathe, know that you have the support, just ask for it!

Life

Life
Posted by a good friend -
I am back. I know it has been awhile and I said I was not coming back, but things change and I was really withdrawling from escaping from reality to let the conscious of my streaming thoughts take control. Just sit back and let the fingers do the work.

I am in my second professional semester in the education program and during one of my classes I learned something very important about myself. Our teacher had given us an assessment to discover what type of learner we are. I filled out the worksheet with a bunch of numbers that did not mean much to me until I found the end result. I am a blue divergent learner, which means I like to experience and feel. The summary of my learning style is that at home and work, blues are: try to influence others so they can lead more significant lives, like to persue interest and abilities in the arts, communications and education, like to help others, am adept at motivating and interacting with others, and look for and work toward harmonious relationships. As I read over these, I could not seem to stop my mind flow leading to him.

During the summer, I had gotten home to find a friend of mine's status on facebook and myspace with threatening messages of wanting to hurt himself. As a blue divergent, I care and even if I had not talked to this person in a few year or so, I could not let this slide. I am a caring person and it would rip me to shreads to know he would go through with something so heartwrenching and horrible. Without a thought in my mind, I wrote him a message and told him to call me if anything. Thank God, he took me up on my offer. His voice was soft and sad, and I will never forget his words of struggling and regret. He had upset his parents and he was disappointed in himself. I reassured him that things will get better and offered my night to him. I wanted to help put a smile on his face, I wanted him to feel better to know that someone out there cares about him, even a complete aquaintance that he had not talked to in years.

He asked for me to come over and without hesitating, I hopped in my car and I stayed on the phone with him. As I drove, I knew something was not right. He did not sound alright and that is when I pushed a little heavier on the peddle. I finally arrived and I parked and I found his mom and a friend in the garage. I was questioned what I was doing here and if I was here to bring anything for my friend. I reassured the family that I was here soley for support and because I care. That night his stepfather took him to the hospital. All summer, I waited and waited to get that phone call from him and to get that reassurance he was doing alright. During September, the call finally came. He was out of rehab and in a half way house. He was safe, and since he felt safe, I was relieved and felt safe myself. He moved home, and got a job. I was so proud of his efforts and I was starting to believe things were going alright with him. I guess I felt they were going well enough that I stopped letting myself monitor him. I wanted to save him. I knew that I tried, and I thought that I did it. I stopped calling so much because I felt that things for him were getting better and he didn't have to rely on me anymore. I felt like I was his savior. I went home during a weekend and was able to see that face that I longed to see for months. I spent time with him and I was so over joyed to be able to have this memory and moment in my life.

We talked occasionally but not as much as we had earlier because we both were becoming so busy with our own lives. I thought that this was good news. He called me during thanksgiving break and I told him that I would try my hardest to see him. Unfortunetley, I became too busy that I did not.

On November 30, 2007, I got a phone call and not one that I was expecting. It was an old friend that I had drifted from. She gave me the worst news that someone would never desire to receive. My dear friend, Jonathan McEachern, had passed. I forgot how bad I wished to save him and I failed. I know it is not my fault but I wish I made more of an effort. I can not live my life with the "what ifs" but this what if will forever be engraved in my head. Even though Jon and I were not the best of friends, we had an understanding of one another and we both knew that this friendship was on a great path toward the future.

I attended my first wake and it was one of the hardest things I had to deal with. People say that everything happens for a reason and when it comes to death it is so hard to find a reason. Since Jon left me, friends, family, I tried to search and find some type of positive. I found the positive of living my life the way Jon would have wanted me to. He encouraged me and was so proud of my education and made jokes about how I would be a teacher one day. I feel like I am not just doing this for me, but doing it for him. He made me proud and I know that I am trying so hard to make him proud of me. I try finding the positive in everything, in every part of my day and even at the end of the day I search for one positive aspect from my day. I am not taking anything, life, friends, family, or anything for granted. I want everyone to know how I feel. I want everyone to know how much I appreciate them, love them and care for them. I may not have been able to save Jon, but he saved me. He changed my life and it is so hard to put into words sometimes. I find myself re-evaluating my life and my relationships because of him, because of one soul, one person.

I will always miss you Jon. Our friendship did not end and your soul will never escape this world. You will never escape from my memory and my heart. I know you are still around and I hope that you will always be around to remind me that I have someone always looking after me. Thank you for changing my life, for making me a better person.

I love you and miss you.

Jonathan McEachern
December 26, 1986- November 30, 2007