He didn't say "goodbye"

I am so not watching TV anymore!
Snap out of it will ya! -- Bad weekend 

Good Grief Bad Grief what is the difference?

Good Grief Bad Grief what is the difference?

Friendship & Understanding.

I am sad - I am angry, I am ~ I don't know what I am ~

I wrote to a friend to apologize for not remembering to do something ~ this is what she wrote to back.

Vonna ~ absolutely no apologies necessary; not between us. This is just from my own experience, but I feel the whole grieving process is going on subconsciously and consciously. We go along, living our lives and a thought or a feeling or a scent overtakes us, and we feel such pain; like we've been blindsided. However, I really believe that along with the grieving is the healing that is also going on, even though it may be hard to perceive. Does this sound like psychobabble? I don't mean it to. If you want to have a chat, just let me know. You know I'm here for you.

The numbness wore off and the reality has set in!
The bad so to speak ~
The time is here for me - in three months it shall be 2 years -- it seems just like yesterday we had lunch, and then I called 911 - you know I can't write anymore, at least anything that would make sense - I just know he is not here and I am afraid that if I don't think about him every day - I shall forget him ~ I can't he was and still is my son - who I miss from the bottom of my heart and soul!

Thank you my friend for being their for me!

My dear friend.

U will be in my heart forever ~ I shall never forget how you became a part of my extended family when I left Arizona, it was you. You gave me a new life, a positive outlook, knowledge, and always reminded me that I had the strength to create a new life for my boys ~ you sent me home to Chicago ~ thank you for fighting so hard to get me back home ~ thank you so much for fighting to keep me here ~

~ go play golf with Jonathan ~
Love you! Roger ~
~R.I.P.~
(my friend)

For everything there is a season,
And a time for every matter under heaven:
A time to be born, and a time to die;
A time to plant, and a time to pluck up what is planted;
A time to kill, and a time to heal;
A time to break down, and a time to build up;
A time to weep, and a time to laugh;
A time to mourn, and a time to dance;
A time to throw away stones, and a time to gather stones together;
A time to embrace, And a time to refrain from embracing;
A time to seek, and a time to lose;
A time to keep, and a time to throw away;
A time to tear, and a time to sew;
A time to keep silence, and a time to speak;
A time to love, and a time to hate,
A time for war, and a time for peace.

Ecclesiastes 3:1-8

Words of Comfort ~

You don't just know what to say do you? Trust me I totally understand this - but let me give you a few tips that may help you comfort not just me; but anyone in the same situation.

It is inevitable that during your life time, you will have a loved one die, it is the truth.
This is a fact!

Let's just hope it is not your child.

As I help you I help myself my experience and journey.

1. Don't ignore the situation or change the subject. Tell me the truth, tell me how you feel.
2. Ask me how I am feeling today.
3. Don't compare the death of a person to the death of a pet.
4. JUST DON'T compare at all. - it's doesn't fit the situation at hand.
5. Try to answer my questions, if you don't have an answer, don't make one up just say "I don't know." I will understand.
6. Don't ask me a million questions - unless I want you to. Believe me I will tell you.
7. Invite me to do fun things. (I think you can figure this one out!)
8. Stay with me quietly when I am sad or feeling lonesome ~
9. Don't watch the calendar to see how fast I am grieving. That calendar you are watching does not exist!
10. Understand this never goes away, send me a hug via email, poke me on face book. If you happen to stop by just give me a hug.
11. Sometimes, the fact that you know others just think about you makes you get through the day!

That's my story today, and I am sticking to it!

Madd ~

I read this ~ I cried ~ so I just copied and pasted this ~ from the coroner's blog today ~

Went to a Party Mom

I went to a party,
And remembered what you said.
You told me not to drink, Mom,
so I had a sprite instead.

I felt proud of myself,
The way you said I would,
that I didn't drink and drive,
though some friends said I should.

I made a healthy choice,
And your advice to me was right.
The party finally ended,
and the kids drove out of sight.

I got into my car,
Sure to get home in one piece.
I never knew what was coming, Mom,
something I expected least.

Now I'm lying o n the pavement,
And I hear the policeman say,
the kid that caused this wreck was drunk, Mom, his voice seems far away.

My own blood's all around me,
As I try hard not to cry.
I can hear the paramedic say,
this girl is going to die.

I'm sure the guy had no idea,
While he was flying high.
Because he chose to drink and drive,
now I would have to die.

So why do people do it, Mom
Knowing that it ruins lives?
And now the pain is cutting me,
like a hundred stabbing knives.

Tell sister not to be afraid, Mom
Tell daddy to be brave.
And when I go to heaven,
put ' Mommy's Girl' on my grave.

Someone should have taught him,
That it's wrong to drink and drive.
Maybe if his parents had,
I'd still be alive.

My breath is getting shorter,
Mom I'm getting really scared
These are my final moments,
and I'm so unprepared.

I wish that you could hold me Mom,
As I lie here and die.
I wish that I could say, 'I love you, Mom!'
So I love you and good-bye.

deep thoughts

thoughts~

damn jon its almost a year, i wish that would make it easier to try and talk to you but it doesn't, i wish it made me feel less guilty but it doesn't, i just hope whatever your at right now is awesome and your at peace with yourself, ya know for a long time after your funeral i havent thought about you but i keep your picture in my wallet and i hope what ever is going on now is better then how things were. i wish i could talk to you just one more time man just to tell you how much we cared about you, but alas man im sure ill see you some 60 70 years from now and everything will be back to normal

much much love~a friend

It hurts ~

It's starting ~ the reality is really hitting the kids - and it's okay, it just takes time.

"Its suppose to get better but day by day it get worse.
I'm suppose to miss you because I'm at college and your 170 miles north of me
not because you a gazillion and ten miles above me."

Never to young for a lullaby ~

Life has becomes an unexpected pleasure for me, this may sound a tad like I
just fell off my rocker, grief can be what I call "Good Grief" ~ just like Charlie Brown ~
I have learned from this tragedy is that you are never to old for a lullaby!
I sang these when he was born, and I sang these songs to him six months ago~

Hush, little baby, don't say a word.
Mama's gonna buy you a mockingbird

And if that mockingbird won't sing,
Mama's gonna buy you a diamond ring

And if that diamond ring turns brass,
Mama's gonna buy you a looking glass

And if that looking glass gets broke,
Mama's gonna buy you a billy goat

And if that billy goat won't pull,
Mama's gonna buy you a cart and bull

And if that cart and bull turn over,
Mama's going to buy you a dog named Rover.

And if that dog named Rover won't bark,
Mama's going to buy you a horse and cart.

And if that horse and cart fall down,
You'll still be the sweetest little baby in town.

Are you sleeping, are you sleeping?
My son Jon, My Son Jon?
Morning bells are ringing, morning bells are ringing
Ding dang dong, ding dang dong.

"What is lovely never dies, put passes into other loveliness"
Thomas Bailey Aldrich

I love you a bushel and a Peck and a Hug around the Neck!
xoxo ma

"All You Need Is Love"

"There's nothing you can do that can't be done.
Nothing you can sing that can't be sung.
Nothing you can say but you can learn how to play the game.
It's easy."

"It's easy ~ Love is all you need ~ Love is all you need"
~ Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah~ `Beatles..

Music ~ I almost forgot about the music..
------------------------
Acceptance ~
I need to sometimes reach out and connect with an old friend.
We used to live in Arizona together, where Jon was born.

She wrote me back ~

Vonna,
Our hearts and prayers will continue to be with you through your grief. Jonathan was a special child – I remember holding and cuddling him when he was a baby. Please know that my Darling Husband and I are here for you with anything you may need. Please do not hesitate to call – even if it is just to cry or vent.

5 stages of Grief & my Dear Husband ~

1. Denial 2. Bargaining 3. Anger 4. Despair 5. Acceptance

Despair ~
I only pray that one day he will be able to move to another stage ~ he seems to be stuck!
When he is ready he will read ~

Posted by a friend the day our "son" left us ~ November 30, 2007

I am aware that there are already groups out for Jon, but both have improper spelling of his first and last name. I have created this group out of request by his little sister.
____
Jon will be missed by all, forgotten by none, and carried on through each one of us for the rest of our lives. He carried a huge place in a lot of people's hearts, and for that, we must be thankful. Not only has he helped us to learn the power of laughter in sorrowful times, but he has also taught us each to not take life for granted.

Jonathan was an unbelievable son, brother, and friend. He will forever be imprinted in our hearts, and may his soul be carried on forever through the memories we have of him.

Jon is in a better place, where it's safe and sound. He is looking down on each of us, and I know he wants us to all be strong. Jonathan fought until he couldn't fight any longer, and now he's resting in peace.

R.I.P. Jonny boy, we all love you.
Yes, we do love u~

Words of a Friend ~

Posted by a friend of Jon's - who loved him too..

Jon was always the one in high school to goof off and not give a f*** what anybody thinks, or so it seemed. Its possible that he needed more love than he was given. if you were sad, Jon would take you in, say something sweet and tell you not to worry. and then make a funny face or drop a corny joke. the system got him, the f**** system forced Jon to grow up way too fast, and then he lost himself within it.

We remember Jon for the laughter, love and depth that he spread to us all.

Don't worry, things like this happen to great souls like Jon's to give us a new perspective on life. his soul is free now, not tied down by the American justice and currency system, and there is no one standing in front of him in a room full of people telling him right from wrong. he can find his own path back to happiness and peace. after all he's been through, he deserves it.

love

Sunday -

It's a sunny day today and for that I am grateful -

I have met a few new people in my life that share the same experience of grieving the loss of a child. I truly believe in my heart that no matter the circumstance in which you child has passed - whether i be accidental, suicide - or even homicide we all share a common bond. We all can help each other move to the next level, remember our children, and live our life as they would want us to -

I don't have to accept the fact now that my Jon is gone, I only have to learn to live with that fact.

He will always be with me, watch over me, and take care of me just in a different way that's all.

I wish you all who read this a "Sunny Happy Day"

5 Stages of Grief

Denial
Bargaining
Anger
Despair
Acceptance ~ Maybe a little today ~

I found this last night on google ~
2003 Triton Award Contest

First Place Group
3rd period Printing/Graphic Arts Class Level II Lithographic Presswork
Kyle Bernicky
Steven Cavaligos
Benjamin Cohen
Kevin Kamen
Gregory Kim
Edward Maciejczyk
Sean Madigan
Bradley Marshall
Jonathan McEachern
Joshua Melinger
Dmitriy Ofrikhter
Koonal Patel
Kirill Pustilnik
Shane Serafin
MichaelWeinstein

The 5 stages of the Grief Process # 1 Denial

Denial ~
Last night I looked for my son all over the house, I was even ready to take the car and go looking for him ~ his car phone is with the coroner so I did not have any phone numbers of any of his friends to call. I tore apart his closet, looking, just looking for some clue as to where he could have gone. I tried to calm down, I paced, I cried, I hide like a child in the corner ~ I miss you Jonathan my son ~ I just want to know when you will be coming home.
I think I finally fell asleep around 4am..

It's gloomy outside today, and today as far as I am concerned ~ I can't wait til tomorrow.

Bargaining

Anger

Despair

Acceptance